Dad’s disgusting chilli con carne

My son had a date with his girlfriend (his words) this weekend. My wife and I took them out for pizza, and they practised cartwheels in the pub garden between courses (they’re six years old).

I asked the subject of my son’s admiration what her favourite food was. It sparked a long and slow descent that covered some interesting ground – from prawns to popcorn. Then I asked a better question, “What food do you REALLY not like?” She paused a nanosecond before replying, “Dad’s chilli con carne.” My wife said, “Oh, we won’t tell, don’t worry.” She replied, “It’s okay, he already knows.”

Kids are savages (at least the ones I meet are). There is no sparing of feelings when they let you know what they think. I will never live down an unwise decision to inflict beetroot risotto on the kids, and my wife will never be forgiven for her cinnamon carrots.

But what about our colleagues? Dare we ask what element of our work they like the least?

It’s helpful when we do. But we need different tactics. In the Netherlands and other more direct places (as a generalisation), you might get feedback with both barrels, as a six-year-old would. But after 12 years in Asia and extensive time in Japan (where reading the air—EQ and subtlety—are prised), we need to allow nuance, anonymity, and context. Erin Myer’s work might be instructive here on cultural differences in a professional context.

We might start with general questions about the quality of communications, training, ease of understanding, etc. Later, we can get into more specific topics. For example, tools like Menti allow us to put questions into a matrix (like that above), where we contrast the effort for the utility—in this case, ways to manage third-party risks.

Unfortunately, some of what we do will be Dad’s chilli con carne, and sometimes that’s a preference/taste (others might like it). But it’s hard to get people to consume (pun intended) our content if we don’t understand the prevailing tastes and mores.

How do you assess your work on the chilli con carne to chocolate spectrum?